day 846

i drew a bridge into the sand
your catalyst
my sacrifice
we only do what we must

everywhere you would step but across
out of sight
out of line
out of your goddamned mind

with words like thousand needles
how deep you cut
how long i bleed
together we shall drain all blood of meaning

let us not embrace before the grand collapse
and then it falls
and when we fall
one day you will understand the gravity

we raised glasses to a fragile peace
here's to our time
here's to the end
now feel wind scatter the remains

(2023)

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train of thought / masquerade

once upon a whisper not a shout
customizable bore and sacrificed fear
utterly bland like all the rest here
gotta check it out get it checked out
so anyway here's music for sore ears

derail, derail (to no avail)
let it slip, let it slip (just a little bit)
gotta run, gotta run (the dance is on)

when trains collide the safest place
back at the back not back on track
and just in case enchase this phrase
it sounds like martian ack ack ack
so anyway go back to outer space

such potential tap, tap, tap
(just a bit, just a bit)
give me prizes, clap, clap, clap
(let it slip, let it slip)

on stakes as high as are as dee
makes all things always out to be
like snails impaled once more curtailed
i ran and slipped again derailed
so anyway just a fairytale

(the obscure experience of being
so well-adjusted and -behaved
that no one ever ever everest
from the highest mountain to
the deepest deep is deeper
you got to love this language
definitely a keeper more like
half a dozen in a trenchcoat
also that rhyme's an odd one out
so anyway where was i)

(2023)

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moonstruck

restless head keeps wandering, unable to think straight
stuck in circles, pondering, on that day fixate
one thought in endless loop, spell bound and caught in one fell swoop

was intrigued when you stood out, and all the signs were there
had no idea just how good, what magic in the air
now i can hardly wait, to seize this chance i shall not hesitate

on the spur of the moment, as time and spirits fly
let's just keep on going and rise up to the sky

in lasting high so captivating, i dare not say it loud
when every word found resonating that palace in the clouds
a kindred mind, it's almost spooky, inside those moony eyes
astonished how such dreamlike beauty can wake the butterflies

amazed just how immense, how fast it became clear
candidly, it's so intense i'm overwhelmed to tears
moonstruck, head over heels - i know, it sounds a bit surreal

on the spur of the moment, as time and spirits fly
let's just keep on going and rise up to the sky

in lasting high so captivating, i dare not say it loud
when every word found resonating that palace in the clouds
a kindred mind, it's almost spooky, inside those moony eyes
astonished how such dreamlike beauty can wake the butterflies

(2023)

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a little spicy

never got the hang in there
in a mad rush must this engage
run like a common thread the needle
poised on a blurry line lapse

rise and fall flat out of control
still got another more to wage
let's cut to the chase loose ends
add some flavor to will in the gaps

to hold me close off another chance
settle into that fast minute rage
it's bad form upon a pattern
just one or too spicy perhaps

(2023)

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omega

the black crystal cracks with a thundering roar
the face of the goddess is breached
refulgence behold in the quake of this voice
as the dream of divine love is reached

the word at the start, from the abyss deep down
begins pouring out into the night
nascent echoes of cosmos within blazing storms
an explosion of absolute light

soon future burns down from celestial heights
like thousands of suns glowing red
when stars are ignited in luminous spray
we shall suffer the tiniest death

souls shine resplendent from glistering heat
for the great oblivion we thirst
blinding the frenzy of spirits enrapt
to give rise to a new universe

(2023)

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pandora's box

on borrowed time rings hollow on a rollercoaster ride
she who rises from a state of drawn-out suicide
gradual, perpetual, the slow-burn casual trauma
somehow survived that subliminal epic drama

escaped from desperate recycled anonymity
renewed with energy, goes magnetic in proximity
unleashed with just the right dose of extravagant
perfectly defect - what fuels your bafflement

why sprinkle salt on wounds like gawking from the grandstand
not so funny throwbacks to some quirky wasteland
why make her hum those off-key tunes about a time that wasn't
eerily cheery requiem for disasters measured by the dozen

assurances don't matter if they shatter with impunity
proclaim it's all the same to you then retract quietly
why execute what disputes all she constitutes
inaction betrays the words you speak in absolutes

(2023)

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incandescent

a spectacle to celebrate
i'm grateful to participate
tonight grants me the circumstance
one glimpse into such radiance

long overdue and well deserved
next door your laughter, full of verve
and more than ever, soon at hand
first step to dream's fruition grand

however small, i did my bit
thus may you revel, fire lit
dots reconnect and strike that path
now blossom in the aftermath

awash in colors bright and true
most treasured memory of you
by afterglow in infrared
with renewed power forge ahead

(2023)

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not even gods

by cries not even gods withstand
to stay unfazed i can't pretend
witness to the fallout of your wars

in pointless pursuit to the end
empty-handed, built on sand
chasing lifelines in this house of cards

once more hanging by a thread
your frail collection of regret
answers become writing on the wall

is this what justifies the dread
the final day, the course is set
no words of mine might ever stop the fall

when each farewell could be the last
whatever strength left to hold fast
i dare not entertain what lurks below

obscured until the die is cast
waste no more breath on shadows past
be here, be now, the way is to let go

(2023)

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lucky

you might not understand this song
but still i know you'd play along
by proxy, maybe - also sweet
in time your mom for you may read

some bundle full of energy
you grab attention cleverly
a live wire in black and white
how sad the fool you cannot smite

at long last you were gladly saved
to find the love you always craved
with kisses, treats and snuggles rife
here's to you living your best life

(2023)

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metronome

like sleepwalking i wander in a daze
the hall of broken mirrors set ablaze
in search of fivefold mutual desire
my restless soul dragged naked to the pyre

vain reflections, they bleed colors so delicious
in ardent dreams they linger, still ambitious
yet on my lips the taste of mere indulgence
i hunger in the face of this abundance

listened to, but never understood
heavy pumps the rhythm in my blood
footsteps to the saddest metronome
desolate the world i have to roam

rejection and perfection hand in hand
ease turn struggle, wish become command
for idle threats and empty promises
i open up to fill the emptiness

vain reflections, they bleed colors so delicious
in ardent dreams they linger, still ambitious
yet on my lips the taste of mere indulgence
i hunger in the face of this abundance

how come nothing i can say
how come i never hold such sway
my fingers to the bone i'm still clawing for the throne
when silent stay the tunes i get to dance all on my own

how come it's always just the same
how come alone i stand aflame
like a cruel repeated joke i keep trying to evoke
a fire without fuel should collapse in ash and smoke

vain reflections, they bleed colors so delicious
in ardent dreams they linger, still ambitious
yet on my lips the taste of mere indulgence
i hunger in the face of this abundance

(2023)

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december (alternate ending)

ready fortune, ours to claim
towards future, steady aim
a granted wish to end the pain

sprouting like the spark we felt
flames were fanned and hearts enspelled
crimson as the knife beheld

we soared into the night sky soon
and danced under a winter moon
that wrist not clutched one deadly noon

a place for eyes and souls to meet
we shared embraces, warm and sweet
you ran across that fateful street

(2023)

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queen of hearts

sometimes forgotten why we play
the hands we're given every day
you came along to show the way
that power sorely missed

commit, retreat, discard, attack
embrace the heat or burn the deck
like time we're never given back
those moments filled with bliss

exquisitely when you might deign
but never asking why you reign
and still i drag on through the pain
not ready for this loss

for what if, say, i chose not wise
if this is how the vision dies
bleak options i feel on the rise
a bridge too hard to cross

on fertile ground for seeds of doubt
from joining up to checking out
mere number you can toss about
a fool that goes in blind

of feints i never should allow
and playing games so tired now
belay that thorny thought somehow
shunned to the egde of mind

for i'm not what you truly seek
can't be the one that makes you weak
the name you never dare to speak
no, i am but a toy

a stopgap chance, a little bite
just holding out for lightning strike
so tell me what your end game's like
what's my part in this ploy

(2023)

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eye of the storm

precious moments to find few and far between
from rapture to rock bottom i careen
in this limbo squirming, can you see me crawl
and i wonder why you had to build that wall
outside this fortress i must scrounge perhaps
for stray saving grace like table scraps

without you there is no shelter from the storm
soaked under clouds with naught to keep me warm
by these phantoms all alone i am beset
the dark thoughts that i can't ever forget
a foe against which i cannot defend
at horizon's promise looms the bitter end

resurgence of despair i can't erase
and distant hopeful echoes i must chase
united in resistance we sustain
restlessly we march on through the rain
disregard the fell call of the void
near fatal but we will not be destroyed

in your presence i take shelter from the storm
you shield me from the clouds and keep me warm
whenever by these phantoms i'm beset
the dark thoughts only you make me forget
a foe against which you and i defend
together we will hold on till the end

(2023)

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fallen angel

wingless i stand in the stench of defeat
glued to the ground, the curse all over me
and that which fills the silence with whispers
i drink its bitter blend of truth and rumour

vain desire out of balance and time
false hopes between eternity and oblivion
why fill this restless heart to the brim
condemned to yearn i must sacrifice

somehow those elusive moments still find me
they trickle fast through my fingers like sand
salvation so close i can almost touch it
taunting and haunting, for i am not worthy

(2023)

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incomplete

the fool's quest ends only one way
futile and cold after leftover chances
withheld like the missing pieces

never enough and always deprived
into a form forever unreachable
it fails to evoke that sensation

when it whispers those lies again
in which mere semblance cannot
none would fill that hollow outline

it fails to evoke that sensation
withheld like the missing pieces
in which mere semblance cannot

none would fill that hollow outline
never enough and always deprived
futile and cold after leftover chances

into a form forever unreachable
when it whispers those lies again
the fool's quest ends only one way

(2023)

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canvas

beyond wishes of old we are touched by the night
until dawn, like a candle, for warmth shall ignite
sprung from the tears and the joy that we share
in the depths of my heart i can still sense its flare

on the surface mere hints spectral facets reveal
making room for the complex reflections we steal
into twilight, the space in between, we submerge
to shoulder the weight of a whole universe

in the wake of times past when i hear you retell
the lore of things true and the myths to dispel
those stories of you light and shadow inscribe
entrusted to listen to you as my guide

into colors and shapes all these memories weave
in rare quiet moments, they grant us reprieve
a body turned poem, your canvas is skin
like the beautiful soul that shines from within

i trace every curve, every intricate line
want to read every word, every verse, every rhyme
drawn like a map for the journey we chose
and the dream of a day when you hold me close

(2023)

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atlas³

from focal points of history
cast into triple mystery
thus threefold must the answer be

to lift the weight, to pay the price
just why - i merely rolled the dice
it's weird that it has happened thrice

in lion's den one lies asleep
amidst the stars one cannot weep
into adventure one shall leap

(2023)

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spent

live and sustain
stride with love and grace
therein lies all purpose
hold tight and let go

thus poured day after day
wherefrom never ask
dine, dine on that fire
always more, drink up

what upholds this warmth
light up and give freely
even in this very moment
in the end something has to

to carry the burden
the joy and the solitude
burn brighter, ever brighter
no one will collect the ashes

(2023)

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grey

joyfully strong and energetic
so they say, enrapt and magnetic
yet under the surface it's lonesome and cold
no one shall see the tears i withhold

beneath those cheerful masks i put on
ask me not can i ever belong
shrouded in mist, obscure and concealing
the single most elusive of feelings

but who can fill it with color
i cannot cut through the haze
and no one else has that power
forever stuck in this maze

the world stood in that one moment still
when you came true to rouse and fulfill
unprecedented your gift to revive
like a force of nature made me alive

every word
every smell
have you heard
can you tell
everything reminds me

every night
every day
out of sight
lost my way
searching that which can't be

but who can fill it with color
i cannot cut through the haze
and no one else has that power
forever stuck in this maze

and i have seen it in color
a glimpse outside of the haze
but only you had that power
why am i stuck this maze

(2023)

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weight of the world

on the thin line between curse and blessing
we see history through a shattered mirror
hollow echoes and circular questions
and you always ask the impossible

screams like scars etched into my mind
and the most harrowing plea of it all
some tales are better left untold
and you always ask the impossible

with open eyes you fumble in the dark
already forgotten are the when and the how
all these answers lost to the ages
and you always ask the impossible

day after day i reach out to you
all i ever see is your silhouette
standing motionless in the twilight
and you always ask the impossible

when i hold open yet another door
you demand entry to your prison
back into a life where you can fade away
and you always ask the impossible

compelled to lay down in these ruins
only you can dig through the rubble
again and again i hand you the shovel
and you always ask the impossible

once again we stand here together
once more thrown before the gates of fate
we clench our teeth and climb up the stairs
and you always ask the impossible

consider sisyphos, too close to the edge
remember atlas, crushed by the weight
and you always ask the impossible
and you always call my name

(2023)

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