static

alone
there is only the fall
when all the miracles are spent

intermittent connections slip by unseen
deceptive little blips dance on the radar
yet at the end only the static prevails

singing, tinging, chilling
ringing, clinging, drilling
pinging, stinging, killing

i can sense it in the rustle of the leaves
in the patter of water and the crackle of fire
and in the gaps between the songs

like a whispering, screaming, gnawing voice
it vibrates and saps through every fiber
the last drops of left-over strength

pinging, clinging, chilling
singing, stinging, drilling
ringing, tinging, killing

haunted by its subtle, repulsive force
and i fail not for lack of fighting
again and again i reach out in vain

quenchless but by your gentle touch
you, the quietude its seeks so rarely found
the warmth it needs remains ever elusive

ringing, stinging, chilling
pinging, tinging, drilling
singing, clinging, killing

with the static as my faithful companion
i shall know not rest or silence
the day ends as it began

(2024)

---

tiger

we are the ground
and the ground still wants
it hungers and screams
a demand we cannot oblige

we are the cage
paces reflected wall to wall
as standing waves and silence
us echoes of the exorcism

we are the door
the sound of plastic wrap foreboding
and entities clad in frowning
ever pouring the same questions

we are the salt
sweet smell of alcohol and chlorine
just solvents and agents and puzzles
we are all and one and none

(2024)

---

autopilot

only beyond the final edge
i realize, truly, i am
through many doors and motions
once more but never home

one thing after another
even unpacked they weigh
for i will always have to carry
the burden, the solitude, the joy

where else but elsewhere
while my mind remains adrift
one way or another i drown
ever the crushing silence

so i create a little bit of somehow
for comfort and survival
however hollow it may be
this, too, shall never pass

(2024)

---

minotaur

around and into corners stretched
once upon a footnote etched

with battered fingers searching blind
to piece apart a listless mind

trace wall to wall through every room
divine the words that spell yet doom

monster wretched, ask not why
loathsome, lonesome, 'tis but i

sentenced to the end of days
cast into that endless maze

relentless terror built from stone
like glass i stand to break alone

last vestiges of futile grace
lost into darkness giving chase

thus enter hero, mesmerize
the forlorn fate to finalize

down to strike me, strong and deft
relieve me of what fight still left

(2023)

---

metronome

like sleepwalking i wander in a daze
the hall of broken mirrors set ablaze
in search of fivefold mutual desire
my restless soul dragged naked to the pyre

vain reflections, they bleed colors so delicious
in ardent dreams they linger, still ambitious
yet on my lips the taste of mere indulgence
i hunger in the face of this abundance

listened to, but never understood
heavy pumps the rhythm in my blood
footsteps to the saddest metronome
desolate the world i have to roam

rejection and perfection hand in hand
ease turn struggle, wish become command
for idle threats and empty promises
i open up to fill the emptiness

vain reflections, they bleed colors so delicious
in ardent dreams they linger, still ambitious
yet on my lips the taste of mere indulgence
i hunger in the face of this abundance

how come nothing i can say
how come i never hold such sway
my fingers to the bone i'm still clawing for the throne
when silent stay the tunes i get to dance all on my own

how come it's always just the same
how come alone i stand aflame
like a cruel repeated joke i keep trying to evoke
a fire without fuel should collapse in ash and smoke

vain reflections, they bleed colors so delicious
in ardent dreams they linger, still ambitious
yet on my lips the taste of mere indulgence
i hunger in the face of this abundance

(2023)

---

spent

live and sustain
stride with love and grace
therein lies all purpose
hold tight and let go

thus poured day after day
wherefrom never ask
dine, dine on that fire
always more, drink up

what upholds this warmth
light up and give freely
even in this very moment
in the end something has to

to carry the burden
the joy and the solitude
burn brighter, ever brighter
no one will collect the ashes

(2023)

---

the longest night

below the dark distorting mirror
(from the dreary long before)
feel the river's crushing coils
we drink from its blackened currents
(how to make it safe ashore)
as we stumble, hurt and toil

our history in the making
(i meander in plain sight)
all those wishes now seem wrong
sharing battles, seeking wonder
(wide awake i lie tonight)
we are merely pulled along

coasting helplessly on quicksand
(feel the river's crushing coils)
blind and deaf we're torn adrift
with my bare hands i dig deeper
(as we stumble, hurt and toil)
where we never dared to sift

a disquiet no more dormant
(all those wishes now seem wrong)
from the dreary long before
i weigh up the fateful question
(we are merely pulled along)
how to make it safe ashore

donning glasslike futile armor
(blind and deaf we're torn adrift)
i meander in plain sight
shuffling back and forth the choices
(where we never dared to sift)
wide awake i lie tonight

(2022)

---

vigil

sleeper, sleeper, one of us
locked away behind the glass
silent, silent, at the gate
watching for the hands of fate

secret, secret, mine to keep
fragile whispers from the deep
linger, linger, through the night
shield the mystery from the light

mirror, mirror, on the wall
teach us how to stop the fall
shatter, shatter, play your role
cut the bonds and save their soul

sibling, sibling, trapped in stone
in the end you're not alone
suffer, suffer, nevermore
say the word, unseal the door

(2022)

---

antenna

up and down the landscape
tracing open cracks and furrows
and the peaks, the great deceivers

ever onward, quiet, slow
carefully i tread the darkness
searching for a sign, of what

yes, i long for just a glimpse
anything beyond the veil
but i was born - created - blind

maybe the songs i seek are hidden
beneath the dust and blazing fires
in the contours of ancient mysteries

here i ponder my loneliness
as i scan the radio spectrum
for an answer to my question

(2015)

---

island

in the silver a face so alien
distorted shape of primal horror
casket for a crippled mind

somewhere in the ghostly distance
colors have faded from grey to red
former black glows dull and blue

little life at all to find here
bare existence, harsh and futile
and persistent dreams of home

whenever darkness settles softly
night betrays the edge of vastness
a glimpse beyond my shrunken world

sometimes not the wailing wind
just my thoughts howl in the clouds
across a cold and yearning sky

and rarely silence - bastion, solace -
pervades time to touch horizons
memories and phantom pain

(2014)

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