the longest night

below the dark distorting mirror
(from the dreary long before)
feel the river's crushing coils
we drink from its blackened currents
(how to make it safe ashore)
as we stumble, hurt and toil

our history in the making
(i meander in plain sight)
all those wishes now seem wrong
sharing battles, seeking wonder
(wide awake i lie tonight)
we are merely pulled along

coasting helplessly on quicksand
(feel the river's crushing coils)
blind and deaf we're torn adrift
with my bare hands i dig deeper
(as we stumble, hurt and toil)
where we never dared to sift

a disquiet no more dormant
(all those wishes now seem wrong)
from the dreary long before
i weigh up the fateful question
(we are merely pulled along)
how to make it safe ashore

donning glasslike futile armor
(blind and deaf we're torn adrift)
i meander in plain sight
shuffling back and forth the choices
(where we never dared to sift)
wide awake i lie tonight

(2022)

---

siren's call reprise

the wishing well lies bottomless
i soak up the emptiness
feeble light these walls reflect
enter blank, emerge deject

i shift, i gasp, i escalate
unwritten tales reverberate
ripples from the edge of time
fire up this blasted mind

resounding echoes energize
from waking dreams i crystallize
taking hold and changing form
standing tall against the storm

now i'm siren, keen and bold
question, answer, thousandfold
lightning, thunder, hear my call
i shall become, bespell, befall

(2022)

---

panic fragments

futurity i cannot steer
peeling off the thin veneer
all defenses wiped away
here be lions, i am prey

addicted to affinity
i crash into reality
can you hear that breaking sound
always have to throttle down

out in the cold and trapped alone
cast aside, chilled to the bone
an ancient dread has swallowed whole
the frail illusion of control

magic cut off from supply
bleeding all the oceans dry
losing power, down the drain
desert life i can't sustain

a fragile peace in steep decline
do not tell me i'll be fine
dinosaurs still want me dead
guess here's to the time i had

(2022)

---

game changer

all our schemes put under tension
gravity extends a hand
plunged into a strange dimension
space in which we can't expand

ever sinking into rapture
that which may not have a name
unforeseen this sudden capture
changed the very nature of the game

entered your world
into orbit hurled
colliding, colliding
can't unravel
and we travel
colliding, colliding

like a comet out of nowhere
exerts pull against the flow
deeply moved the souls that we bare
we can run or we can grow

this, the weight with which we all cope
every choice must take its toll
fraught with peril, taut the tightrope
revolutions underneath unroll

entered my world
into orbit hurled
colliding, colliding
can't unravel
and we travel
colliding, colliding

(2022)

---

matter

from cosmic maelstrom's iron grip
we carve our tiny piece
through shifting gaps we try to slip
aware that we will cease

as transient forms we're on the brink
but burning oh so bright
in fleeting moments we are linked
and hold each other tight

into the void we etch our mark
with hope and love abound
what little time to play our part
we strive to make it count

uncaring forces out of reach
from which our lives we wring
whatever powers we beseech
won't change the course of things

one day the final darkness calls
don't linger with regret
and when at last the curtain falls
rejoice - for we have met

(2022)

---

firefly

the morn afloat on sleepless wings
drawn back and forth by silken strings
with bated breath from glimpse to glimpse
delirious the aftermath

from endless depths in all i feel
to answers that these threads reveal
a balance held in the new real
we gain or lose along the path

like motes entangled from afar
this dance so wondrously bizarre
yet in between i'm ever starved
for that which not awaits

and bathed within a sunset's kiss
suspended time in waves of bliss
released into that calm abyss
i dare not entreat fate

(2022)

---

kintsugi

for but a moment i stand shaken
underneath the piercing gazes
in the shadow of a full moon

collecting scars like faint reflections
i pick up the fallen pieces
the assault shall be in vain

behold your weak deception
you may flaunt the things that never
cannot steal the things that are

witness me inside the glasshouse
i flood the night with this defiance
watch me dance amidst the shards

(2022)

---

leap of faith

here i meet the fateful moment
i must not falter at the crossroads
there is only one way forward
time has come to ride the storm

to feel, to hear
to yearn, to fear
to think, to seek
to breathe, to speak

i must release this brimming heart
all the words it wants to cry
must not hold off any longer
into the light, now is the chance

i feel, i hear
i yearn, i fear
i think, i seek
i breathe, i speak

just like that - my armor crumbles
and the cards are on the table
a million outcomes can collapse
just like that - it's said and done

(2022)

---

inside out

the mere flick of a finger is all that i need
oh, the spells i am able to cast
the unseen existence that i used to lead
be forever a thing of the past

sheer presence flows over with magical joy
as easy as lighting a match
unthinkable power i wield like a toy
to paint new connections from scratch

in the blink of an eye from strangers to kin
and every big step that i take
a whole concert of feelings to revel within
such momentum is built in my wake

every fiber inside of me dancing along
like i never was able before
the entire soul on the tip of my tongue
and a burning desire for more

(2022)

---

lightspeed overdrive

understanding and a moment under scrutiny
inciting to the most enticing mutiny
words like lightning lighting thoughts up suddenly
here's to overthinking all things endlessly

daydreaming up and down in waves for days
got plentiful distractions but the thunder stays
i roll around my failure in chaotic ways
one probably inconsequential missed embrace

feeling, falling, so feline
hitting ground or flying fine
three point one four one five nine
statistically it's time to shine

ever looking for a sign
chances are i'm last in line
two six five three five eight nine
statistically it's time to shine

magnetically i'm pulled to the location where
i nearly melted under this electric flare
every time i pass that point my nerves lie bare
the sweetest actual nothing happened there

here i stand full circle and yet all anew
my mind is spinning and the heart is restless, too
a mere puddle on the floor without the slighest clue
what can i be if even anything to you

feeling, falling, so feline
hitting ground or flying fine
three point one four one five nine
statistically it's time to shine

ever looking for a sign
chances are i'm last in line
two six five three five eight nine
statistically it's time to shine

(2022)

---

vigil

sleeper, sleeper, one of us
locked away behind the glass
silent, silent, at the gate
watching for the hands of fate

secret, secret, mine to keep
fragile whispers from the deep
linger, linger, through the night
shield the mystery from the light

mirror, mirror, on the wall
teach us how to stop the fall
shatter, shatter, play your role
cut the bonds and save their soul

sibling, sibling, trapped in stone
in the end you're not alone
suffer, suffer, nevermore
say the word, unseal the door

(2022)

---

phoenix

an era dawns with one rekindled dream
the nightmare's remnants fade into the dust
oh, don't you cry for what has never been
i burn alone tonight because i must

where many an intrepid soul has gone
my one and only chance to spread my wings
to ride across the precipice beyond
with but a spark the spectacle begins

the magic is seeping in
engulfed in its embrace
the magic is seeping in
from the ashes i shall rise

now it is happening
now it is happening
the transformation bearing fiery waves
a world ablaze

here at the end may the struggles pay off
when at last i have reclaimed my power
make you open your eyes wide and look to above
before long you shall bask in my fire

destiny reached
fury unleashed
the shackles and walls
have been finally breached

behold my might
golden and bright
once and for all
i am ending this fight

the magic is seeping in
engulfed in its embrace
the magic is seeping in
from the ashes i shall rise

the magic is seeping in
now it is happening
the magic is seeping in
yes, it is happening

(2022)

---

hard reset

false goodness of heart pretending
can't have a world upending
such beautiful lies deceiving
had you so long believing

from million to zero, there's no escape from the loop
another burnt child already used to the hoop
jump in and through and count down once more
obey, parade, parade, true face to the fore

embodiment of everything they despise
secretly they pray for your untimely demise
so better get going for the fight is now on
wake up, become, become, rise leviathan

for fallacy's sake contending
the keepers of lies intending
need you anticipating
ceaselessly iterating

false goodness of heart pretending
can't have a world upending
need you anticipating
ceaselessly iterating

phrases on repeat, always out of the blue
the same old tales, not even technically true
entertain at your peril the futile desire
let go, destroy, destroy, cast it into the fire

extinct beasts trying to preach shame and dread
we gave in to peer pressure from the dead
time to banish their specters to history
transcend, alive, alive, here's to victory

these chains were made for breaking
give them a good old shaking
hear the prelude to freedom
the keys to the kingdom, seize them

such beautiful lies deceiving
had you so long believing
hear the prelude to freedom
the keys to the kingdom, seize them

(2021)

---

strange attractor (trans medley)

the water here is never still
my wish can't ever be fulfilled
for thievishly they stole my heart
below the waves it's torn apart

the taste of heaven on my tongue
its unpresence my hell inside
anticipating every night
into what i must fall

whenever i stare into that presence
it gazes back at me
acknowledging my existence
denying my identity
laughing at my grudge

strange attractor
meander on
circle, meet square
i never solved the puzzle
will you ever find your place


trying to follow
you just feel hollow
creeping in sorrow
attempt to evade

in the silver a face so alien
distorted shape of primal horror
casket for a crippled mind

now is all that's left
the last sliver of a me
chained to the unrelenting
to the grim arrow of time

and at one point
and you will have to break
oh, snap you will
at one point or later
the signs, they are everywhere


i have to witness the fabric of dream
rapidly falling apart at the seam
disruption of the concentrical sketch
by impacts on its invisible edge

the moment expands
until the waves
gentle sounds at the boundary
hint at your confinement

you've been longing for this chance
take this secret key
climb down the spider's net

magic, do your part
ride the wind and carve a body
from the dust at journey's end

(2021)

---

ultraviolet

gently touched by rays of fire
yearning, calling, ineffable
tendrils of the awakened mind

time stretched to eternity
the possible at last in sight
all the things and all at once

in the wake of the rising sun
joy and sorrow blend most sublime
to map the long forgotten road

altered eyes will trace the contour
painting a picture with colors unseen
piece by piece the grand invisible

at dawn there is only i
navigator, cartographer
the justice words can never do

(2021)

---

threshold

new light, the puzzle is completed
your foe, yourself, defeated
so rise and shine, break free

new light, now all lies bare and open
the fears, the dreams, the hope and
the truth for all to see

new light, the time has come for healing
embrace all these new feelings
outside, there's so much more

new light, the masks at last have fallen
so please no more stalling
get up, step through the door

(2021)

---

unleashed

lightning, thunder, heavy rain
footsteps, breathing, feel the pain
conscious, knowing, wide aware
bruises, fractures, hard to bear

water, silver, broken voice
bastion, shelter, soothing noise
falling, rising, all the fears
cleansing, burning, free the tears

seeing, grasping, every clue
freedom, power, overdue
bursting, roaring, firestorm
trembling, kneeling, be reborn

(2021)

---

resonance, catalyst, collapse

tremor at culmination's egde
with the force of a thousand echoes
in their resonance walls crumble
at last the visions take a shape

it can't be
i can't be

one last longing drops its disguise
as flashes, whispers, neon breeze
unveil the sweet and brutal catalyst
where the heavens scream a name

can it be
can i be

basking in the afterglow of the dream
the collapse arrives gently, almost playful
everything clicks into place
the right place, the only place

it is
i am

(2021)

---

blasted mind

here's to the densest fool
climbing, crawling, stumbling past
over, under, into the forbidden
sweetest fleeting fantasy

ever when you scratched the surface
every chance and invitation
yet the thought remained elusive
never crossed this blasted mind

in the shadows, in the corners
always softly unaware
toes dipped into the forbidden
sweetest fleeting fantasy

every second near the deep
every time you could have dived
yet the truth remained elusive
never crossed this blasted mind

all the signs and all the moments
small and harmless, big and scary
to shily peek into the forbidden
sweetest fleeting fantasy

every glimpse into that world
every hint of this potential
your true self remained elusive
never crossed this blasted mind

(2021)

---

connect/break the dots/egg

numbed/caged since/until forever
restless/longing
shackled/blinded
searching/stumbling
stuck/asleep in the fog/maze

clearly/maybe a path/exit
secret/impossible
distant/nearby
inexplicable/intractable
in the house/tower of fright/lies

the fragments/figments of a mystery/mind
voices/whispers
jealous/hungry
consuming/burning
a solution/gateway that never/always was

buried/forgotten she dreams/becomes
hollow/hidden
stranger/wanderer
question/answer
the immovable/unstoppable object/force

when at last the veil/dam melts/shatters
yearning/crying
flickering/grasping
beckoning/raging
the phoenix/angel will rise/fly

(2021)

---