pantomines

we're slaves to a dark crushing reality
bound to the depths and never truly free
by the giant ravenous we are swallowed whole
performing sacrifices, playing each our role

but we're also enthralled in a beautiful trance
enchanted and haunted by your wordless dance
and one day to slay them we shall defy the odds
good riddance, you whisper, to our deranged gods

now there's cracks in the surface, only vaguely outlined
our innate radiance for far too long outshined
feel beneath the pressure of a million tons
a glimpse of the fury of a thousand suns

but still in denial of that ancient power
unbroken the chains, even in darkest hour
salvation stolen and forever in silence
we sink alone into that voiceless defiance

and what do you behold beyond the unseen wall
why keep up the act, when is the curtain call
already gave us your all, even your very soul
you never, never, never merely played a role

(2024)

---

im bann

wandelnd fernab meiner mitte
irre ziellos ich umher
fühle jeden meiner schritte
schmerzt die leere heute noch viel mehr

wo statt chancen doch nur wände
erneut spüre ich die last
außer ihr nur leere hände
viel gewagt und noch viel mehr verpasst

und ich regne, regne heute
tu es gleich dem firmament
regne sehnsucht, trauer, freude
denk an diesen einzigen moment

wir, im stillstand aller uhren
standen fest umschlungen da
teilten wärme und konturen
die erlösung schon zum greifen nah

ein gedanke, mehr ein flehen
warum hielt ich es zurück
um mich war es längst geschehen
sehe vor mir noch den augenblick

und ich regne, regne heute
tu es gleich dem firmament
regne sehnsucht, trauer, freude
denk an diesen einzigen moment

plötzlich fährt es wie vom himmel
weiß kaum wie mir noch geschieht
engelsgleich als jene stimme
in den bann mich nur noch tiefer zieht

(2024)

---

not just any port

on waves and chances, tonight i ride
where bodies meld into a rhythmic tide
with gazes and movements they hypnotize
such magnetic pull i feel on the rise

out here in the dark for a moment aglow
how i feel and fall right into that flow
mere fever dream into which i am drawn
never seen, never heard, and forgotten at dawn

reject, eject, onto parts unknown
once more in the end i shall sail all alone
before wishes of mine almost given form
not just any port in this thunderstorm

oh night, why grant me this final embrace
to break my heart and the wall i must face
a cause for pause and to skip a beat
its lingering taste burning bittersweet

(2024)

---

tiger

we are the ground
and the ground still wants
it hungers and screams
a demand we cannot oblige

we are the cage
paces reflected wall to wall
as standing waves and silence
us echoes of the exorcism

we are the door
the sound of plastic wrap foreboding
and entities clad in frowning
ever pouring the same questions

we are the salt
sweet smell of alcohol and chlorine
just solvents and agents and puzzles
we are all and one and none

(2024)

---

autopilot

only beyond the final edge
i realize, truly, i am
through many doors and motions
once more but never home

one thing after another
even unpacked they weigh
for i will always have to carry
the burden, the solitude, the joy

where else but elsewhere
while my mind remains adrift
one way or another i drown
ever the crushing silence

so i create a little bit of somehow
for comfort and survival
however hollow it may be
this, too, shall never pass

(2024)

---

rend, sunder, delete

maybe easy, easy seeming
ask not why, why, why
but an uphill, uphill battle
still i try, try, try

merely brittle, brittle armor
for my heart, heart, heart
it will shatter, shatter quickly
once you start, start, start

out of balance, balance fallen
torn to shreds, shreds, shreds
like a deadly, deadly poison
as it spreads, spreads, spreads

and a thousand, thousand needles
when it stings, stings, stings
only burning, burning anguish
that it brings, brings, brings

with an always, always loaded
smoking gun, gun, gun
for the trigger, trigger threatens
better run, run, run

(2024)

---

vanishing point

beyond the river
and into distance
between us, far and fleeting
the universe still expands

when i squint to windward
we are all beholden here
to space, and time
and our hearts

witness or master
the great divide
distance by longing
to overcome when overcome

ride the solar winds
take me any place where you
unlike these tracks that never cross
one day we'll meet again

(2024)

---

together, brightly

where i melted away from your sigh
every second a perfect dream
now a memory, still agleam
together we sailed the sky

in the half-light i basked in your smile
every word said by you
enchanting but true
a new tale, amazing and wild

where i saw your reflection in steel
in the joy that you brought
sometimes breath barely caught
all the things you made me feel

in the half-light we savored and soared
caresses gentle and warm
swept away like a storm
headfirst into worlds unexplored

where the wind still whispers your name
we mixed like the galaxies
i can hear your melodies
together, brightly, we stood aflame

(2024)

---

speechless

one hundred
forty thousand
four hundred

so fast they
where have you
how did it even

from here to now
cannot stop but
until again we

all at once all the time
can it really
wow

(2024)

---

piranha

tão ousada quanto você
como vivendo o sonho fogoso
por favor, seja minha mestra hoje
me torno a piranha, hehehe

talvez um gosto bom você tem
em breve vou comer você também

eles não podem nos ferir
vamos recuperar agora
fica uma palavra potente
me chamo a piranha, hehehe

talvez um gosto bom você tem
em breve vou comer você também

me acorde, querida
me leve, me molde

me seduza, bonita
me educe, me liberte

sem vergonha, amiga
cheguei para reivindicar

talvez um gosto bom você tem
em breve vou comer você também

(2024)

---

damocles

in fire and light
crimson shining the blade
by dawn we shall be unmade
as long since foretold
and by your hand
we end as we once began

as winds and times must change
the fates' whims rearrange
and steal that which we crave
to drown it in the waves

from silver threads untied
into the dark divide
an ocean deep and red
where all the tears are shed

in fire and light
crimson shining the blade
by dawn we shall be unmade
as long since foretold
and by your hand
we end as we once began

it wants but cannot be
what would i give to see
through whispers in the mist
on water moonlight kissed

like fading battle scars
and riddles in the stars
an insight please bestow
but we shall never know

in fire and light
crimson shining the blade
by dawn we shall be unmade
as long since foretold
and by your hand
we end as we once began

forbidden magic words
at saga's ending heard
vain dreams of yesteryear
shall hold no power here

let me behold your sight
before truth stains the night
the dreaded spell is cast
and we are free at last

in fire and light
crimson shining the blade
by dawn we shall be unmade
as long since foretold
and by your hand
we end as we once began

(2024)

---

pode ser

fly, fly to the raven's nest
where we become undone or one
how could i ever not succumb
gently caressed by words most mesmerizing

pode ser tudo
pode ser nada
pode ser nós

what is yet a message in a bottle
be it candle or blaze
i will burn in your gaze
drowned in the infinities of your eyes and

pode ser para sempre
pode ser o destino
pode ser só por hoje

what cannot be said will be wept
but all can be dared
because i prayed this word - i want

o seu sorriso e a sua voz
o seu toque e a sua alma
são os mais encantadores
sem você, estou com saudade

(2024)

---

december (the ending is not)

wide eyes transformed into quicksand
like black holes bending the dim light
and an instinct that forced me to stay

last year's hallways resounding still hollow
the cold lights, the glass nights, the circles
in a wasteland outstretched for miles

irresistible choices were fated
in a story of dark twists and left turns
for the one door i could not but close

so you slept, you hid and still clung to
a fairy tale turned into nightmare
not the life that was ripe to reclaim

of a sudden, however, you came to
something gave, and the floodgates thrown open
of a sudden you showed up alive

to windward now facing the unknown
this year of rebirth whispers wisdom
leave to die that which left you to die

(2023)

---

to shape the void

once more, against the cold winds riding
all too familiar sights abound
once more into the abyss smiling
cocoon, swallow me gently

for the dream ends where the dream's ends
let me sink into the dreamless
and dissolve into a shapeless
where it smiles back at me

whisper softly, sweet empty
whisper softly and smile
travel time now, sweet empty
dissolve, dissolve, dis-


remember once upon the tiles
soaked fingertips seeking in vain

remember the wish once forbidden
no one would ever, ever know

remember how impossible
that image as painful as vivid

remember the vision, remember
wake up and give it shape


wake up, wake up, whisper softly
breathe in, breathe out, coalesce
let me cry now, sweet empty
now you smile back at me

(2023)

---

on the tides

when roiling seas throw waves too tall
encroaching on the land
to rise and clash outside that wall
unfaltering you stand

upon a sturdy fortress built
to last through ages gone
but water knows not grudge nor guilt
in time it must move on

no monument shall yet outlive
those forces of the deep
to shut them off - what would i give
such turmoil do they reap

left writhing, drowning, cold and weak
alone in all but name
the words i must not ever speak
i pray them all the same

their push and pull become a theme
in vain i still implore
because i want, i have to scream
what is it even for

and yet - i see how unfulfilled
it's written in your eyes
consumed by yearning never stilled
you, too, look to the skies

(2023)

---

alice IX (rubicon)

underneath a burning why
and searing, aching blue-like sky
to shallow depths we cast the die

with the sound of a match gently stricken
by the river mouth, a squandered chance
by the river mouth we shall not dance
on tiptoe over scorching sand

why ever would the heat abate
what little passion left irate
at mere behest it cannot sate

convulsing empty, lost and charred
last embers of a wistful heart
for death spells a belated card

with the sound of a match gently stricken
by the river mouth washed ashore
by the river mouth, nevermore
on tiptoe over scorching sand

with the sound of a match gently stricken
by the river mouth, all shades of keen
behold the ocean - sweet, sweet gasoline
wake up and smell the ashes

(2023)

---

minotaur

around and into corners stretched
once upon a footnote etched

with battered fingers searching blind
to piece apart a listless mind

trace wall to wall through every room
divine the words that spell yet doom

monster wretched, ask not why
loathsome, lonesome, 'tis but i

sentenced to the end of days
cast into that endless maze

relentless terror built from stone
like glass i stand to break alone

last vestiges of futile grace
lost into darkness giving chase

thus enter hero, mesmerize
the forlorn fate to finalize

down to strike me, strong and deft
relieve me of what fight still left

(2023)

---

snapshots of a new era

outside i pace in the scent of night
the wasteland lies dark, alien and homely
from siren songs to remind me of prison
in the hallway of tears i can hide for a while

a sound, a touch, an angel's voice
golden words drop like the weight
swift fingers mark ascension's countdown
and on your face a hint of understanding

warm wind paints today in soap bubbles and dust
i watch the beginnings of many a story
over and over we turn the wheel of fortune
against all odds we have each come full circle

from the depths rings the bringer of dawn
in a stark contrast between two worlds
thus here i stand - the known unknown
the open book, the phoenix risen

where gods of the ancients still walk amongst us
a spectacle of vibrant color we all become
let us spread wings and fly together
witness me dancing with the greats

(2023)

---

pretty little puzzle pieces

my tendency for the allegorical
historical never merely metaphorical
ideas best unstructured and yet categorical
the question marks us answers not rhetorical

i'm digging for some pretty little buried treasure
do i have to spell out my displeasure
hammer it home for good measure
y'all only ever listen at your leisure

with a notoriety for shocking impiety
in bold strokes you paint us a society
no room for desperately much-needed variety
just rigid caricatures of our anxiety

always synthetic and a bit pathetic
thin line between apathetic and frenetic
let's talk memetic, call it, if you will, poetic
neither hypothetic nor prophetic

meanwhile you got no time for archaeology
refuse to see the extent of totality
and maybe, just maybe, you owe me an apology
not some weak-ass tautology delivered at my eulogy

(2023)

---

day 846

i drew a bridge into the sand
your catalyst
my sacrifice
we only do what we must

everywhere you would step but across
out of sight
out of line
out of your goddamned mind

with words like thousand needles
how deep you cut
how long i bleed
together we shall drain all blood of meaning

let us not embrace before the grand collapse
and then it falls
and when we fall
one day you will understand the gravity

we raised glasses to a fragile peace
here's to our time
here's to the end
now feel wind scatter the remains

(2023)

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